Announcement

There will be no post update for two weeks. I will be with my daughter during her operation.

6 WORDS TO GET YOU HEARD AT YOUR NEXT MEETING

Ever felt that you're not part of the meeting? and that you're opinion are just being ignored? Six facts about the human brain can move you from being ignored - to getting your best ideas heard. There are reasons why some people get heard more than others at meetings, and these are not what you may think.

1. Brain fact - People resonate with what they already know and already do daily, because the brain's basal ganglia keeps some people trapped in the safety if the old, comfortable or familiar.

Brain-based response - Hook your new idea onto their familiar approaches. How? Say you want to propose a new accounting system. Suggest how this innovation can enhance one popular part of the current system - before you show how it will fix another problem part.

2. Brain fact - Humor helps because it releases enzymes into the brain for openness and ability to go with a new possibility.

Brain-based response - Make them laugh with a funny joke. Lets say you are still going for an accounting adjustment idea. Tell them, "An accountant dies and St. Peter says, 'You look so young for a 144 years old.' The accountant shoots back, 'But I'm only 42.' 'Sorry ' St Peter says, 'We got your age from your reported time sheet.

3. Brain fact - Advanced organizers enable the human brain to see and act on a clear plan.

Brain-based response - Avoid confusion by showing bare boned parts or bullets to overview your key ideas.

4. Brain fact - Serotonin prepares a place in people brains o help them take new risk.

Brain-based response - Offer incentives like monetary benefits for each of them if they adopt your new idea. For instance, they might earn a bonus, save on taxes, and cut waste for the firm at the same time.

5. Brain fact - Cortisol impacts tone negatively and so it can shut down people, ides, adventures, and opportunities before you get your point across.

Brain-based response - State the dilemma clearly and show it as a reason and justification for your plan and then quickly move into the solution.

6. Brain fact - Melatonin, the hormone for sleep, increases in a darkened room and puts folks to sleep whenever the lights are too low.
Brain-based response - Use bright lights to avoid people nodding off before you get to the punch line. You may also know that too much talk works against the human brain.

10 WAYS TO LET GO OF PAST LOVES

Its not that easy letting go of someone you love. Plenty of people are having a hard time letting go of past loves and are still attached to the memory of a past romance. Come unstuck with these techniques and discover yourself - happy and free. If you are stuck in an emotional tie that no longer serves you, it's time to set yourself free. Here are 10 fool proof ways to enjoy the present and release your past.

1. Get real about what was. According to pop psychologists, we are most magnetically attracted to people who embody the characteristics of our parents or early caretakers because we unwittingly seek in a partner someone who will re-open our childhood wounds.

Our adult selves can finally heal those wounds, but the more negative those characteristics are(from critical and controlling to charmingly irresponsible) the more intense the attraction we feel.

We can get relief from out nostalgia for a past love by remembering that the intensity of the memory does not necessarily mean the relationship was best for us. Remember, what fueled the attraction may not have been love, but your soul's desire to heal the past.

2. Forget the merge-urge. Subliminally, people in love promise they will meet all of each others needs while having none of their own. This is why we long for the feeling of fullness again, of merged egos.

But then it was an illusion and temporary and, in reality, it was not love. Had the relationship continued, you would have seen boundaries snap back in place, for no one would have made you feel that high forever.

3. Are you romanticizing? The persistence of a romanticized memory contains an addictive element but the element is not in the former relationship - it's in you. So toss out your rose colored glasses. Chances are you are romanticizing weaknesses as strengths. Was he self employed because of his independence or his inability to accept authority? A realistic assessment is empowering. Keep a cheat sheet of unflattering truths and refer to it when you slip into dewy daydreams. It is easier to let go of a human then a hero.

4. There's no such thing as "one and only". Repeat this 20 times. Ask yourself whether deep down you believe that remembering the relationship preserves it in some way. Write a new belief code, such as: "I have never left a relationship that would have made me happier than i am now." Don't mythologize as "one and only" someone who actually might have been unremarkable.

5. This is me -- free! Visualize yourself saying to a friend, "oh my gosh, I haven't thought about x-mas in years!" Absorb how fantastic you'll feel, how happy and energized, and say thank you for that.

Remember that visualization is not about vision. It's about what you feel when you envision. Feel your freedom and cement it with gratitude.

6. Bury the memories. Your brain believes your body, sort of a reverse of the placebo effect. You begin to feel free of the past when you act free of the past! don't talk about the old relationship, don't note anniversaries, or send mental messages.

7. Turn to creativity. One of the best balms for emotional wounds is creativity, which is different from staying busy. Doing something creative, whether it is writing, drawing, composing lyrics, changing your hairstyle, planting garden, thinking of a great gift, or redecorating a room, connects you to yourself and a power greater than yourself.

And creativity is deeply engaging. It fills you from the inside out.


8. Be grateful. Swap longing reverie for gratitude. Be thankful for your blessings, for the good things in your life. This will help you from dismiss what you no longer have.

9. Exercise to exorcise the "ex". Go to the gym regularly, or go for a fun run. Regular exercise keeps your endorphin levels high and keeps you from falling into melancholy memories.

10. Shut the door on the uninvited guest. Do thoughts of a past love pop up at unexpected times? Respond to such thoughts as you would to a neighbor or acquaintance who drops by without calling first. Do a mental yawn and look for the nearest "exit".

GOING BACK TO WORK AFTER A LONG ABSENCE

Here's a nice article I found at the library about getting back to work after a long absence.

If you left your job to stay at home for a while, the chances are you're worried about how to return to the workplace. Resuming a job or career after a long absence doesn't have to be daunting. Follow these tips to help you find a job at the level you want.

1. Update your skills. If it has been a while since you last worked, it is time to find out which skills are currently in demand in your industry. Network with people in the business and find out what is considered necessary these days. Then either teach yourself, or go on a course. Do this before you start job hunting, so you can include these skills on your CV.

2. Get in touch with your former boss and colleagues. By far the easiest way to get back to work is to return to the last place you left (assuming you were happy with your job and the company). If you were well thought of and left on good terms, they might find you a position. If there is nothing available, thank them, anyway, and ask for any useful leads and contacts thay might have to help you in your job hunt.

3. Let your former colleagues, friends and family know. These are the people who are interested in your welfare and will want to help you find a job. Write letters telling them that you are thinking of going back to work. Let them know that you will appreciate any leads or contacts. Include two copies of your CV for them to pass on to people they know. You'll be surprised at how successful this form of networking can be.

4. Consider freelancing or taking temporary jobs. There are many different temping and recruitment agencies that place candidates of all levels in many different fields including finance, publishing news media, education, marketing and secretarial. To get started, check out job recruitment Websites and job fairs.

5. Get ready to rebuild your career. Don't be surprised or depressed if you have to take a pay cut when you are trying to rebuild your career. If you were a top level manager or a director before you left, you may have to re enter as an assistant director. Employees prefer candidates who have had recent experience. Don't worry. Take the job - and the opportunity to impress them! With a bit of catching up, you will soon be back where you left off, and ready for promotion.

RISK OF DATING

So risks also accompany dating. As with all learning situations, some of the lessons might be painful. Here are 3 possible risk of dating:

• Rejection. Adolescents are especially sensitive in rejection. Feeling left out by peers can be devastating. When a social activity is planned, whether it is a group activity or a one to one dating activity, and an adolescent is not included, he or she might question his or her self worth. It is extremely important to encourage adolescents to share these feelings with caring adults. Feelings of rejection can result in a loss of self esteem.

• Sex-role stereotyping. Ideally, the dating experience will assist adolescents in becoming comfortable with their masculinity or femininity and their sex roles. However, it must be remembered that an adolescent has obtained previous information about masculinity and femininity almost entirely from his or her family. Adolescents tend to model the examples that have been set for them. Adolescents who have learned sex role stereotyping might continue attitudes and the accompanying behaviors in their dating relationships. Thus, while one person is learning to express his or her masculinity or femininity and sex role, the other person might be providing unhealthy feedback. When this occurs, adolescents should be encouraged to discuss the situation with trusted adults.

• Superficial relationships. Because peer acceptance is so important, adolescents might go through the motions of dating to be a part of the group rather than to obtain the benefits of dating. For example, an adolescent might date someone only because he or she is in a popular clique. This kind of relationship is superficial. Neither the quality of the relationship nor the well being of the other person involved is a priority. Some destructive behaviors might accompany superficial relationships. These behaviors might include leading someone on in order to continue dating, lying about feelings, and/or failing to pay attention to the other person's needs. If an adolescents obtains the desired benefit-acceptance from the peer group-he or she might receive enough satisfaction from superficial relationships that a pattern for this kind of relationship develops.
  

BENEFITS OF DATING

During adolescence, some adolescence begin to date. Dating is a social plans with another person, some refer to having a date as "going out" or "hanging out" with someone. Here are some benefits of adolescence dating.

• Strengthening self esteem. Being liked and accepted by members of the opposite sex is especially important during adolescence. Asking someone to share an activity and having this person accept affirms an adolescent's belief about his or her attractiveness and desirability. Being seen with a person of the opposite sex who is well liked by peers also reinforces self esteem. Successful dating experiences provide the foundation for continuing to take risks in the dating game. In other words, when adolescents feel that a date was successful, they gain confidence that they are successfully managing their social life.

• Improve social skills. Adolescents often have concerns about the social skills needed for dating. "What do I talk about with my date?" "What do I do if I can't think of what to say?" Dating provides the opportunity to practice social skills. Some of these skills might include meeting someone's parent or guardians for the first time, mutually deciding on enjoyable activities, initiating and contributing to meaningful conversation, and using good manners.

• Becoming secure win one's masculinity of femininity. Two important developmental tasks of adolescence are accepting the body changes that are occurring as a result of puberty and becoming comfortable with one's sex role. The issue of masculinity and femininity is especially important. Males need opportunity to test their feelings about the masculine sex role. Is it masculine to be macho? To be vulnerable? Females need the opportunity to test their feelings about the feminine role. Is it feminine to be strong willed? To be independent? An adolescents comfort level with his or her masculinity or femininity is reinforces by being able to express several aspects of his or her personality, being able to have a wide variety of interest, and gaining acceptance.

• Developing skills in intimacy. Healthful relationships are about closeness. This closeness is referred to as intimacy. A lack of intimacy in important relationships such as those between close friends, marriage partners, and parents and their children can be very painful for everyone involved. Almost everyone has had the experience of being with a friend or being in a crowd yet still feeling lonely. Lack on intimacy can lead can lead to feelings of alienation and unworthiness. The skills needed to have intimate relationships must be practiced. A sense of trust and caring and compassion are particular importance to the development of intimacy. While dating, adolescents have the opportunity to display trust and to interact in caring and compassionate ways.
  

• Understanding personal needs. In a healthful relationship, people have an understanding of each others needs and desire to meet those needs in healthful ways. Therefore, it is essential for adolescents to be in touch with their needs and to be able to share those needs in appropriate ways with significant others. While dating, adolescents can learn ways to have needs met in healthful ways. In addition, they can learn about the needs that other people have and hoe these needs can be met in a healthful ways. For example, some adolescent need to have more time alone than others. Some adolescents need more encouragement in the form of compliments to feel supported in a significant relationship.